Friday, February 18, 2005

When did fortunes become statements?

So I get some free food today from the guys at Calence from Pei Wei. Along with my lunch/dinner comes some Fortune Cookies. Now I ask you, when did fortunes become statements?
for·tune Audio pronunciation of "fortune" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fôrchn)
n.
    1. The chance happening of fortunate or adverse events; luck: He decided to go home for the holidays, and his fortune turned for the worse.
    2. fortunes The turns of luck in the course of one's life.
    3. Success, especially when at least partially resulting from luck: No matter what they tried, it ended in fortune.
    1. A person's condition or standing in life determined by material possessions or financial wealth: She pursued her fortune in another country.
    2. Extensive amounts of material possessions or money; wealth.
    3. A large sum of money: spent a fortune on the new car.
  1. often Fortune A hypothetical, often personified force or power that favorably or unfavorably governs the events of one's life: We believe that Fortune is on our side.
    1. Fate; destiny: told my fortune with tarot cards.
    2. A foretelling of one's destiny
Now, I thought the definintion of Fortune was that to tell me something that's about to happen to me or my friends. If I look at the above definitions from Dictionary.com I would assume I am corrent. I also know that to get a blank one is really bad luck. Here's an example of what I mean. One of my Fortune cookies states:
"You have natural grace and consideration for others."
So I ask you. Is that a fortune? Or is it really just a pleasant statement. I mean what if I don't have a natural grace. What if I normally walk like a duck, would you call that gracefull? As it is I don't walk like a duck... so I guess I do have Natural grace and consideration for others. Remember that consideration and action are two different things.
So if you ever do get a blank fortune please follow these steps from Weird Fortune Cookies
If you should receive a blank fortune, do not panic. Instead, have courage. Follow these steps and you will almost certainly rectify the situation with no harm to you or any others:

1. Gently grasp the fortune, if you dropped it in shock.
2. With a rotating motion in your forearm, turn the fortune over 180 degrees along the Z axis, so that you are looking at its other side (commonly referred to the "reverse side"). This should reveal writing on the paper.
3. If the writing is upside down, you will need to spin the fortune on the X-Y axis -- again using a rotating motion, but this time with your wrist.

In almost all cases these steps will reveal your fortune to you. Panic can be averted.

If the other side is also blank, then I guess you're screwed. Sorry.

1 Comments:

At 1:23 PM, February 18, 2005, Blogger Joe said...

Does Flat Feet count as graceful?

 

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